I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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