Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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