so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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