Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
