Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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