Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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