After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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