she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
