I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize