marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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