what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
