road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
