I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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