we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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