i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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