if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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