you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
