quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
