What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
