i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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