i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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