oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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