I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
