hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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