nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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