We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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