where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Buhtt sex?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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