Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
