Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
