i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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