my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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