Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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