How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
