i need an iv and a liver transplant
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
this boner is exhausting
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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