Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Randomize
