I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
