i would punch a child for taco bell
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
