After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
BRING THE BAGELS
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
