I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
