I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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