dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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