If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
