so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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