Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
