Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
