Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
