Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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