your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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