We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
