Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
