so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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