return my video game
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Randomize
