have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
