I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
